Alive & Kicking

LIFE by Charlotte Bronte

LIFE, believe, is not a dream
So dark as sages say;
Oft a little morning rain
Foretells a pleasant day. 
Sometimes there are clouds of gloom,
But these are transient all;
If the shower will make the roses bloom,
O why lament its fall ? 

Rapidly, merrily,
Life's sunny hours flit by,
Gratefully, cheerily,
Enjoy them as they fly ! 

What though Death at times steps in
And calls our Best away ?
What though sorrow seems to win,
O'er hope, a heavy sway ?
Yet hope again elastic springs,
Unconquered, though she fell;
Still buoyant are her golden wings,
Still strong to bear us well.
Manfully, fearlessly,
The day of trial bear,
For gloriously, victoriously,
Can courage quell despair !

So here I am, exactly 5 years to the day of my ALS diagnosis.  Always a difficult day, but this one is particularly hard.  The doctors told me I wouldn't wake up tomorrow.  2-5 years left to live is what I was told.  I know I should be celebrating that I beat the odds, but to be honest I just feel sad.  I'll never forget that day, and every day since ALS has been in my thoughts 100% of the time.  I just can't let it go.  Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful to have had the time to live out many of my dreams and am happy to still enjoy making moments matter with friends and family.  As you can imagine, living with ALS is overwhelming, and often becomes too much.  Travis and I do our best to live life as best we can, but behind the scenes we are both devastated.  I haven't given up, in fact I am about to launch a letter-writing campaign to our Government to hold them accountable for M-105.  Stay tuned, I will need your help!  For today, though, I wanted to be real and I promise to try to be gentle with myself.  If you want to help, cat videos are a surefire way to make me smile.