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Lessons from the Hobbit

1/15/2015

5 Comments

 
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J.R.R Tolkien (Thorin Oakenshield)
Travis & I went to see the final chapter of the Hobbit last night and were not disappointed.  I have loved the Lord of the Rings Trilogy ever since I can remember reading it on a bus and crying in public!  I love stories that make me feel, think and question, and J.R.R. Tolkien and Peter Jackson's adaptation continuously amaze me.  I absolutely love the scenery and have been lucky enough to visit some of the sites in New Zealand.  The action was mind-blowing and the characters priceless.  I think what I love the most though, is the little guys overcoming incredible adversity and doing so with a sense of humour and love in their hearts.  I can only aspire to face my challenge in the same way.

Health wise I am doing okay.  I went to see my liver doctor in December who said that my liver enzymes are almost perfect again due to the medication I am taking.  My last ALS clinic visit was at the end of November.  My breathing scores had actually improved (I think I'm learning how to take the test) and my speech and swallowing are still working fine, I've always had a strong voice!  My strength, however, is waning and I cannot lift much anymore, nor walk for any distance.  I was encouraged to use my wheelchair more often as I am still having difficulty accepting it.  The nurse could sense my apprehension and stated that I have a Type "A" personality, which I'm pretty sure was her way of telling me I am stubborn!  It is true that I have a hard time relaxing, resting, without "doing something" or feeling productive and physically now I have no choice.  Not so easy changing your personality!

We are moving!  The building next to us is finished and upon seeing the new units, we realized what we were missing in ours.  We will still be the end unit, but luckily on the 9th floor with no building beside us with people able to see Travis making coffee in his boxers (their loss!).  We chose to move for the bathroom ensuite with a walk-in shower, with a seat in the shower.  Showering has been the one thing that energizes me and gives me life during the day and this will help maintain that independence as long as possible.  We are also gaining a walk-in closet, it has been a problem that we have nowhere to store my wheelchairs, so this is fantastic.  Also, we will now have room for a dining table, again facilitating the use of the wheelchair as now we have only stools at a high counter.  Most importantly, the second bedroom has a window and a full bath, so you will be comfortable when you visit!  Move-in date is May 31 and will be much easier than the last one as we are going from elevator to elevator and don't even have to go outside, yes, that may have been a cheeky shout-out to my moving crew, if you're free ;)

Another thing that has changed is language.  Because of our reality, Travis & I often speak about death in a realistic, practical way.  I was so grateful to have seen the last Hobbit, because when we saw part two last Christmas, I wasn't sure if I was going to make it or not to see this one.  Also, when renewing my passport, I had to decide whether to get the 5 year or pay more for the 10 year (I optimistically chose the 10 year).  When signing the lease for the new apartment, I was worried that if I live too long, we may not be able to afford it!  It is a delicate balance between not giving up, and accepting reality.  In fact, in my therapy practice we try to teach others that black & white or all or nothing thinking is just is not the way of the world, and can really drive you crazy!  So if it throws you that I joke about my demise, or are taken aback by my frankness of the illness I am living with, know that it is a compliment, it means that I can be myself around you.  I promise I am not giving up, Bilbo taught me that if you are surrounded by Orcs, you can still throw rocks at them.


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5 Comments
Danny
1/15/2015 06:23:27 pm

That was a great read. We loved it, nice comparison. Caleb will have to tell you about his hobbit comparisons related to our travels when we get home.
No need to change your personality girl. That is what makes you soooooo loveable and perhaps what keeps you smiling. Love ya and miss you both. See you soon.
D

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Heather
1/15/2015 09:49:30 pm

Honey - you've been Type A since the minute I met you and I'm sure your parents and brothers would say the same. It's part of what we all love about you. (And who else but a Type A could be exited about moving?!). Let's just reframe "stubborn" as "tenacious" <grin>.

Love the honesty, love the frankness, love you.

xxoo

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Heather
1/15/2015 09:52:30 pm

PS - I know Travis' feelings on you being Type A - he's even more gracious and frames as "princess" ... And yes, I accept that "label" too <bigger grin> xxoo

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Kate
1/19/2015 08:34:48 pm

Lets just make it an A+ all round. 7 weeks to go and we're with you.

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Shirley Skinner
1/21/2015 08:14:41 am

Carol this blog in another epic one - informative, refreshingly honest, inspiring and uplifting all in one. I too devoured Tolkien’s writing in the 70’s, but unlike u I’ve resisted seeing Jackson’s interpretation, holding on rather to my own cherished imagination’s memory. U may just have inspired me to give the visual Hobbit a taste.

Thanks for the update on your health. I thank God from the bottom of my heart for improved liver enzymes and breathing scores.

How exciting to have found an even better nest. And how wonderful there’s no need to have to sell the one u’r in now!

Trav and Carol you too/two are truly overcoming incredible adversity and doing so with a sense of humour and love in your hearts. Please keep writing, I love reading your ever-growing thoughts. I think this 2min video adds to your encouragement to live and love authentically. Mom in Auckland.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgcW26OjZPk&index=33&list=PL0089A7D918F7A4BC

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    Carol Jean Skinner (née Sharman)
    born October 19
    lives in Ottawa, Canada

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carol skinner  - rolyskinner@gmail.com
travis skinner - skinnertravis@gmail.com